I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
