He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize