Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
