we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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