So drunk its hurt
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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