this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize