would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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