she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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