Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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