I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
