friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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