Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
