He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
