So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Come see our sink grown plant.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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