My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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