so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i think im in europe. pls send help
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