Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
