you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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