The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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