Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
