so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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