my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
