none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
