I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
