what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
