He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
