I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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