Just cropdusted the office
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
