All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
