go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
