Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
