Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
