Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
