oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
