I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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