thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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