i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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