the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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