I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
