..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
