I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
