So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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