Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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