Well apparently he's into motor boating.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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