okay pat passed out under dana's car
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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