so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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