Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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