hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize