Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Duck Duck Cougar?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
