people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
