just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
