East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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