yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize