ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What did we do last night that was yellow?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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