I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
