What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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