Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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