Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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