sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
