I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We have started to decorate penises.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
